Happy Independence Day

Once again it’s time to celebrate our country’s independence from tyrannical British rule and bath in the glorious light of democracy. I actually had a student of mine ask me if the British people had July the 4th. Of course I told him that the British have an empty black date between July 3rd and 5th where everyone stays at home and thinks really hard about why the American colonies didn’t want to have anything to do with Britain anymore. I for one feel quite patriotic this year. In fact I am lobbying our neighborhood complex to chip in some cash so we can purchase some fireworks that would be able to be fired from the east coast USA and seen from Britain. (I have $3.27 so far that I found in my couch). An interesting note about celebrating the 4th involves planning ahead. Our geniuses in charge have allocated funds to display fireworks in observances of the 4th to be held in various locations on the 3rd and 5th of July. Fireworks at a local baseball stadium on the 3rd and a fireworks display on the local lake on the 5th. I guess it’s up to me to make a quick run for Mexico to bring back some illegal fireworks. Hey, if they can’t find WMD or illegal aliens, my chances at importing some gnarly explosives seem good. My uncle once used way too much lighter fluid in the hibachi grill and made a fireball about 15 feet into the air. Luckily, his eyebrows grew back with minimal permanent damage. So to everyone out there happy Independence Day: may your hot dogs be kosher, your brats be beer battered, and your fireworks be illegal in 13 states!!